037|The Better Husband’s Guide to Listening: A 3-Step Practice

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You’re physically present—but she still doesn’t feel heard.
You’re responding—but she doesn’t feel understood.
And the harder you try to fix it, the more it backfires.

In this episode of Better Husband, we break down why most men struggle to listen in a way that actually creates connection—and what to do instead. You’ll learn a 3-step listening practice you can start using today, plus real stories, research-backed insights, and tools that will help you turn everyday conversations into moments of trust, intimacy, and repair.

🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ Why most men think they’re listening—but still miss the moment
✅ The difference between hearing her words and being with her experience
✅ A simple 3-step framework to listen with more presence and clarity
✅ How to reflect emotion, not just content
✅ What to do when you’re the one who doesn’t feel heard
✅ The science behind why real listening deepens trust and intimacy

💡 Key Takeaway:

Listening isn’t about finding the perfect response. It’s about staying with her—fully, calmly, and openly—long enough for her to feel safe. Presence creates connection. And connection creates change.

🔨 Action Steps This Week:

1️⃣ In one real conversation this week, practice the 3-step listening method
2️⃣ Step 1: Reflect what you heard — then ask, “Did I get that right?”
3️⃣ Step 2: Name the emotion — even if you’re not sure, make a gentle guess
4️⃣ Step 3: Ask a follow-up — “Is there more?” or “What was that like for you?”
5️⃣ Stay with her. Don’t fix. Don’t shift. Let her feel your presence.

🧠 Reflection Questions:

❓ When she was talking, where did my mind want to go? Could I stay with her?
❓ How did she respond when I reflected her experience?
❓ Instead of reacting, what was it like to name a feeling out loud—especially if I wasn’t totally sure?
❓ What changed, if anything, in how I felt after the conversation?

Ready to Take Action?

If you’re serious about showing up differently in your marriage, Better Husband Academy is your next step.

It’s a structured course and community built for men like you... men who are done guessing, done coasting, and ready to create a marriage with clarity, strength, and heart.

🧭 Join the Academy → BetterHusbandAcademy.com
🎯 Download the Better Husband Toolkit → betterhusbandtoolkit.com
📺 Subscribe on YouTube → Better Husband
📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

Chapters

• 0:00 When You’re Listening… But Not Really
• 2:05 Three Moments I Blew It
• 5:21 The Reason Most Men Don’t Listen Well
• 7:33 What the Science Says About Listening and Connection
• 9:31 A Simple 3-Step Method to Truly Listen and Stay Present
• 14:02 How Real Listening Changes Your Marriage
• 15:36 What to Do When You Don't Feel Heard
• 18:42 Your One Practice This Week
• 20:13 Reflect on These Questions and Take Action