064|The Marriage You Want Comes Down to These Three Steps

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Many men can clearly see what they need to do to improve their marriage, especially in quiet moments when everything makes sense. But then real life hits, a comment lands wrong, defensiveness rises, and you end up right back in the same pattern even though you know better.

In this episode, Angelo breaks down why awareness alone can become a trap, why action has to be grounded and repeatable, and why accountability is the piece that helps change actually stick over time. He walks through the Triple A model: awareness, action, and accountability.

🔑 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ Why knowing what to do does not automatically lead to doing it

✅ How awareness can feel like progress while nothing changes at home

✅ What action looks like in small, repeatable moments

✅ Why accountability is the piece most men skip and why it matters

✅ How awareness, action, and accountability work together to create lasting change

💡 Key Takeaway

Lasting change in your marriage takes all three: awareness to see the pattern, action to interrupt it in real time, and accountability to stay consistent when life gets loud and motivation fades.

🔨 Action Steps This Week

1⃣ Start by being honest with yourself about where you are right now.
Answer this question. Which part of this process feels the weakest for you right now? Is it awareness, action, or accountability? Not the one you like the most, not the one you think you should be good at, the one that's actually missing or underdeveloped in your day-to-day life.

2⃣ If it's awareness. Your move this week is to get clearer.
Journal for 10 minutes, replay one recent interaction, and ask what was I really feeling right there, and what was I trying to protect? Name the pattern instead of just brushing past it.

3⃣ If it's action, pick one small concrete step and do it.
One conversation you've been avoiding, one repair you've been putting off. One moment where you stay present instead of checking out. Do it imperfectly, but do it on purpose.

4⃣ And if it's accountability, stop holding this all in your head.
Tell someone what you're working on. Say it out loud, what you're committing to and when you're going to do it, put a little structure around it so you're not relying on motivation alone.

5⃣ Then whichever one you pick, set one simple check-in.
Choose a day this week and ask yourself, did I actually do the thing I said I was going to do? Because this work doesn't change your marriage because you understand it. It changes your marriage because you practice it one step at a time over time.

🧠 Reflection Questions:

❓ Which part of this process feels the weakest for you right now?

❓ Is it awareness, action, or accountability?

Thanks for being here, and thanks for taking the time to keep building your awareness, taking the action, and reaching out for accountability.

Ready to Take Action?
🚨 Watch the FREE Better Husband Workshop → BetterHusbandSecrets.com

Questions?
📩 Email Me → angelo@angelosantiago.com

Chapters

• 0:00 You Know What To Do… So Why Don’t You Do It?
• 2:10 The Three Things That Make Change Stick
• 3:53 Awareness — Seeing Yourself Clearly
• 6:28 Action — Doing the Right Thing, Not Just Doing Something
• 9:50 Accountability — Why Change Finally Sticks
• 13:13 Putting It All Together
• 15:58 What To Do Now
• 17:33 The Marriage You Want Takes All Three